Beginning the 25 days of advent
I decide I should go on a diet
A perhaps method of making myself
A little more impressive and less bumbling
Through these festive meetings
and festive feelings.
Yesterday peppermint candy cane latte misted my eyes while
I babbled; thinking perhaps a good Christmas gift would be my
Absent sense of sophistication.
My friends’ eyes float innocently to their phones.
And I tag their faces accordingly.
One, editing photos. The other, arranging a date
The third, possibly discussing his
community Christmas gift drive.
I sink in my self-subjected isolation
Lulled by seasonal lullabies.
Outside the window, light vanishes into light
And every snowflake is in fact a character of its own
Dendrical, sectored, rimed or radiating
I shiver with the realization that the white kisses on my skin are each
A cold morphology, like myself
Frozen in change.
Above me the sky is soft grey and gentle lights line the street,
A reminder of tenderness, or its absence.
I blink back bewildered tears as a
blanket of cold finds me, assuring
It’s not a sin to be weaving through them
with nothing in my hands
After my little depressive bout last week I set my mind to getting some errands done to ease my inertia. Familiar songs and familiar smells of Christmas are all about now. I have a few short weeks to revise (or rather to start and finish studying) the semester’s work, lose enough weight to fit into a pair of pants and get my body and mind fit enough before I head for the ski slopes and then to London. The annual year-end fix yourself challenge.