Growing Pains by John Lauren and Paula Sandford


Children are closest to grief. Not yet able to examine the world with their mind, they feel the world with their spirit. And in their spirit they may have knowledge of events that happened that they have never been told about. Most of our personality is crystallised by 5, and most hurt happens to us when we are at our most vulnerable. Issues that beset the adult often have their origins in the womb, and our emotional responses in adulthood are often fueled by experiences and reactions made in early life.

How is a person born again? A person is born again when he is carried in the hearts of people who love him. We are all healed by love.

Quotes (emphasis my own):

“As we mature, we interpret experiences with our mind, but before we have developed intellect with which to reason we have a mind in the spirit within us. As soon as we begin to form within the womb, that breath from God, which is the core of our essence, is breathed into us, or we would not have life at all”

“A chronic state of uncertainty, fear, and deep-seated anxiety is built into a child in utero whose mother smokes, and he will react when his mother even thinks of having a cigarette… Dr. Verny related numerous fascinating stories of prenatal memory and many case histories in which the doctors concluded in some way the child made decisions to react, such as refusal to bond with the mother after birth because of her refusal to bond with the child before delivery. He reported the formation of attitudes and personality traits as a result of prenatal or birth trauma”

We begin to store treasure in our heart from the moment we become a living being; our treasure is made up of every experience we have ever had, the responses we have made to them, and the attitudes, judgments and expectations we hold”

“Whether you are praying for a baby or an adult, the reality of Jesus affecting the spirit of a person is made possible through prayer for the innermost being of the tiny child inside the one for whom you pray… asking Him to identify with a wounded spirit all the way back to the time of conception… we speak the comfort, reassurance, and affirmation of the Lord directly into the spirit of the child”

“Very young children may be prayer for aloud as they sleep, and their spirits will hear the prayer and be gradually secured in love”

“The inner one is like a little child, and so he says, ‘Tell me again. Tell me again.’ He needs many repeated prayers. Christians who pray with him may need to associate on a regular basis as spiritual mothers and father in Christ to do for him what his natural parents failed to do”

The spirit of a young child experiences far more than he can know with his mind and that it is possible that he had known in his spirit the absence of his parents”

“Little girls want to be the apple of their daddies’ eyes. They come to earth innately knowing they are God’s gift to ravish their daddies’ hearts, to comfort, delight, and please. Being received by an appreciative father builds confidence in what is to be a woman.”

Real fellowship is dependent upon the ability of our spirits to reach out and deeply connect with one another… We can understand and be refreshed in one another’s company only if our spirits are able to meet and nourish one another. Anyone who has touched the clamminess of a corpse has recognised the absence of spirit”

“But what of the many tragically wounded who are not healed by love? To the degree that each of us has formed a heart of stone we have to that degree failed to become fully human. To that same degree, we have closed down the very faculties needed for real interchange of heart and mind. We will not let the spirit be vulnerable, open to touch and embrace. It hurts too much. We hide behind stone walls.”

Some people have talked all their lives and have never known a moment’s communication

“Real conscience is cultivated solely by the ability of our spirit to love, to meet, to enter in and share another’s life for the other’s sake”

“In ‘I-thou’ encounters, each ‘I’ meets and treats any other person as a revered ‘thou,’ spirit to spirit, heart to heart, mind to mind, openly and without impediment. I-thou can be pictured by imagining two sparks radiating light into and through each other until, if one is blue and the other yellow, a green field suffuses both equally without eradicating either, at once brightening both the original yellow and blue. Whoever learnt to live in I-thou relationships learnt to cherish the other. He hurts in anticipation of the other’s hurt and therefore stops before a personal action might wound the other. The is the true function of conscience

“The tragedy of our culture is that men and women are becoming progressively less human. God wants to raise human beings… In Him, we are to become more and more human, more warm and loving, vulnerable, and compassionate. ”

“She needed God’s love through human vessels. Good friends and prayer ministers must know their worth as God’s messengers of love”

“Ministers, doctors, and lawyers most commonly are afflicted with hidden, ossified hearts. Those who were born with loving natures but were prevented from learning true give-and-take have often built strong walls to protect those naturally tender hearts”

[Of a dyslexic boy healed by prayer and ministry] “’Because of emotionally painfully circumstances surrounding his birth, he didn’t want to be born. His spirit is in his body backward.’ That was probably a symbolic description of the way his spirit was turned away from life.

“As dyslexics often do when we pray for them, James felt like he was spinning inside. It was as if God was turning him around to face into life, instead of away from it, and the quick change was momentarily disorientating… In the coming days, the ‘fog’ continued to clear”

“For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.” ~ Psalm 109:22


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