Dear diary, I must tell you this
And maybe you can tell me if I have judged amiss
But I feel like I’ve been making so many mistakes
I feel like life is more than I can take
As I was scrambling to find my clothes, I didn’t realize
That mother did not appreciate the drawer’s banging noise.
Riding my bike across the bridge, I ignored the “dismount” sign
I was in a hurry, I thought it would be fine
An old lady stopped me with a big frown
“Can’t you read?” she asked. And in dismay, I got down.
Coming back with my sister, she was riding a faster bike
And went on ahead without me, leaving me behind.
My brother told me, unhappily, could you please put things back where they belong
I didn’t realise I had been making a mess for so long.
Crossing the road, I almost got hit by a car
The driver’s words, if I transcribed them, would contain a lot of stars.
I called for technical support, and the person many times asked me
“You don’t know your phone’s identification number?” rather impatiently.
In the library, deep in thought,
I really didn’t realise I was clicking my pen a lot.
Until the bearded man on my left faced me and said
“You’re being really annoying”, his fuzzy face all red.
You know, dear diary, I really don’t want to be naughty
But often I am, and it really feels like no one really wants me.
I wonder, dear diary, if perhaps in all I do
I am a nuisance and a bother to everyone but you.
And oh dear diary, I think you will tell me this
That everyone makes mistakes, life gets easier with practice.
But now, if someone says a firm “excuse me”, on the street
Something inside me just crumbles and breaks.
And I know I make no sense, but I just can’t fight my feelings today
I feel perhaps, that I ought to vanish and go away.
Dear diary, I think no one can understand me but you
I feel so small, so worthless, so blue.
I don’t really want to go out there
To face the frowns and sighs and glares.
So dear diary, won’t you just indulge in me today,
And inside myself, let me stay.
Let’s just huddle in this quiet space together
And go to sleep, which makes everything better.