I often feel like I’m running on an energy deficit. Uplifted from a comfortable heat and thrown into a frigid winter, I just want to curl up like a hamster under my fluffy duvet and listen to the rain fall.
Various impressions and the occasional notion of responsibility appear like blips in a fog that is my mind; ripples on a digital screen. Before my return to London I stared at my suitcase and asked my brain what I needed. No answer. In the end, I returned to London leaving behind my student pass, railcard, student discount card, camera charger and phone charger. Jetlagged, I texted friends (bless them) at 4am in the morning despairing over how lost I am these days.
Everything moves slowly. And I resist moving more than slowly.
Yet, I’m still itching for something or someone to shatter my energy conservation policy (to borrow a line from Hyouka). A whole year has passed since I graduated from school, and it feels like daily life will never regain that rhythm and colour it had before. I try to hide it because it seems so ungrateful a sentiment but in truth, I am highly uninspired. Is life overrated, or am I wrong somewhere?
Pondering, dreamily, lazily, with essential waitrose banana milk on a cloudy Wednesday afternoon.
We are back!