I have a story.

I have a story I need to tell.

It needs to be told, because words are so much of who I am. It was words, and the people who taught me to use words, that saved me, giving my heart a voice. And it would only make sense that now that I have words to say, that I should tell them. It needs to be told, because just as I have needed other people’s stories, someday someone might need mine. It needs to be told, strangely, because they story itself will not come to a close until it is told. It needs to be told because the telling will, if nothing else, give me courage.

There was an evening, sitting at my desk, where the gears turned in my mind, and suddenly I felt that there was no other way, except that this story must come to completion. At the same time, from my heart, came a desire to make sure the story is told.

But now is not the time to tell it. This is a story that is unfolding slowly as I move towards the day I can bring it into the light. By the time I am ready to tell it, I will probably no longer be the same person anymore. Everything will change.

Or will it?

Maybe you have a story too. When you look back to your past and you look into the mirror, what do you see? Are there traces of a narrative there? Is there something hidden, something broken, something redeeming? Where hide your dragons? Where is your sword? Are there any conditions that you must adhere to on your journey, and which benevolent spirit imparted them to you? What magic words do you use against the darkness? How many turbulent waters must you cross to come home? Does your story have a theme? What is your theory of everything, and where does your story fit in?

What happens at that moment we begin to look into the mirror for real, and understand all that we are and what we have become? A story begins there, I think. And with the beginning comes the trembling of the heart and the need to find new strength. Redemption begins there, I hope. When we go through the wall, what waits on the other side? I sure hope to believe it is nothing less than goodness and fullness – the end of a tale, and the beginning of one ten times better.

I have a story. Stick with me and someday I will share it with you. Whether or not you will remain my friend at the end of it, I know not. But whatever the outcome, it is my greater hope that you too, will one day discover the magic of a tale, of telling, of words and remembering. And maybe then, you can tell me your story too. Right from the beginning.

All tales may come true;

and yet, at the last, redeemed,

they may be as like and as unlike the forms that we give them

as Man, finally redeemed,

will be like and unlike the fallen that we know.

– On Fairy Stories, J.R.R. Tolkien


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