I’ve 3 weeks left before I’m London bound.
Recently I’ve been waking up before my alarm, and dreaming in my sleep (or rather, remembering my dreams), which I only do when I sleep lightly.
I’m feeling the anxiety of being in between. I’m still too attached to my friends and lifestyle here to be ready to part, but also having to prepare properly for the leap, which of necessity involves me thinking seriously (and ideally, enthusiastically), about my future life. I don’t know how to feel excited, not yet. There’s still problems unsolved here. Relationships to manage here.
In the midst of my confusion, little things bring a lot of comfort – like a phone call from a friend checking how I’m doing, my sister grabbing everything within reach and flinging it at me to get my attention, and braving the tropical rain without an umbrella together with my dog. Perhaps its the familiarity of these things. Perhaps it’s the closeness I feel to these friends who make up my life.
I continue walking my tightrope, trying to find the balance between living to the full here and preparing properly for my leave.
I’ll make it, somehow, like I always do.